Day 1-really this is Day 1!

Despite it being April, I've been really excited to have more sunny days than rainy ones. Take today- it's so beautiful outside. Yeah I have to work, but it's gorgeous!!! Days like this I feel dumbfounded because even when I'm in doubt, I know this was something that the Lord made. The beauty and simplistic of the day humbles me and kinda reassures me in a way as well. Let's see, tonight is bible study and I am so excited on the message I will receive- I'll talk about that later though :o)

Right now, to explain how I got to this point. A few weeks ago I felt optimistically discouraged if that makes sense. I was hopeful, but still did not feel as if I had a clue of what was going on in my life, all around me...I didn't feel like I knew my purpose (can you guess what age group I'm in???) Anyway, I decided to talk to God....

He heard me.

I think our conversation this time was different because I was seeking him in my heart instead of just in my mind. The next weeks to follow were interesting.... I began perceiving things completely different. Now let me be the first to tell you that perception is huge to be. I'm known as the devil's advocate because I like to debate and try and find a different perspective. I felt that it was a part of growing and knowing. Well, my role as d-a is gone per se, however I feel my perspective has enhanced to an all time high now. Basically the things I was interested in- rap, celeb-reality shows, gossip talk shows, etc- I wasn't interested in. During a conversation with a friend I revealed that I just couldn't get into this latest reality tv show and she asked if I thought I was too good for it now. I responded that it wasn't that I felt I was above it, it just didn't interest me anymore. I've never been into digging for rocks either- not because I was above it, just not interesting in it.

That's not the point though. That conversation stuck in my mind because a few days prior I was in bible study and my pastor spoke about the reputation some of our churches have, particularly in our area....Gotta love southern baptists!!!! Lol, I used to avoid that label because it immediately brought up this image of a lady and man with bibles in their hands screaming "Repent or be condemn to hell forever!" Scary, yeah I know! Well, after my conversation with my friend I wondered if that was the perception people had of me. Especially now that I wasn't interested in the stuff I used to be, I was only interested in God. So the dilemma I faced was this: How can I explain that I'm not interested in certain types of movies, music, and television because I do see evil in them without sounding like a crazed fanatic?

See the thing is I really do feel that evil-Satan- is involved in a lot of current trends today. You know I read some articles about the symbolism behind the devil (sayings, signs, etc), as well as the rumors surfacing about some of the top entertainers and public figures secretly worshipping the devil. Whether I believe the articles is irrelevant, however the content found within these popular trends does not interest me. I don't want to catch up on the latest gossip, racy video or song lyrics because it has nothing to do with the path I'm trying to discover and walk with the Lord. So I listen to the Christian station instead and I love it! Every song that comes on is wonderful. I actually don't change the radio station (which for anyone who knows me will realize how miraculous that is- I'm easily distractible and VERY easily bored). Why is it different now?

Have you ever heard of that saying "That's my song"? As in, you're in the car with your girls listening to the radio and one girl proceeds to say "Ooh, girl turn that up- that's my song!!" Or for the guys- "That's my jam!" Lol, I used to say that all the time...I would instantly perk up and bob my head to the music and most importantly the lyrics...I'm a lyrics girl so I had to understand the lyrics prior to given them the "That's my song!" status. Typically a song gets that status when I felt that writer wrote that song especially for me. S/he just knew that my guy wasn't acting right or it was time for me to shake those haters off and decided to write those lyrics to reach out to me. Well, I get excited now whenever I listen to the music on Christian stations because they're all my songs! The lyrics (again I'm a lyrics girl) touch me. Again, those hymns and songs were written because I think the author knew even back then their wordings would touch someone...someone would be able to relate. And now I'm one of those individuals.

So how do I show that I am a southern baptist without scaring people away with my passion? Good question, I'm a pretty intense person on my own, but now...Wow! Either way I'll just take it day by day :o)

So again, I finished reading Mark and I would like to leave on that note:

1) Jesus died

2) Jesus rose and is alive again

3) HIS process of death and resurrection was for me.

You know, I'm not an emotional person, but I've been crying a little (a lot) lately. Even now I'm tearing up on the impact that message has. Not only that but He gave up The Ghost and passed away. This Ghost, I feel is The Holy Ghost. It was a way that I can still have Jesus in my life even though He is no longer on this earth. God gave me a companion- The Holy Ghost, whose presence I feel every day. I am comforted knowing that I am never alone...I've never been alone.

I pray that you have a blessed day and receive a type of clarity or enlightenment you didn't have the previous day.

to be continued :o)