Tonight I've been reading Matthew. I have to say I really enjoy the books of the Bible that focus on Jesus. I mean, I know the whole Bible does, but I guess what I mean is that I like hearing Jesus talk! I love his speeches and even more so, I love his parables.
So to bring you up-to-date at this point in Matthew, Jesus continues to travel from place to place, preach in the synagogues, heal people, and teach his disciples. He continues to reiterate that he's fulfilling the prophecy. In the early part of this book he speaks in reference to Esaias who prophesied that "By hearing ye shall hear, and shall not understand; and seeing ye shall see, and shall not perceive" (Matthew 13:14). Jesus clarifies in verse 15 by saying "For this people's heart is waxed gross, and their ears are dull of hearing, and their eyes they have closed; lest at any time they should see with their eyes and hear with their ears, and should understand with their heart, and should be converted, and I should heal them."
Okay, let me stop and explain how important this part was after I read it. So the last couple of weeks I've been feeling a disconnect. I know I haven't typed in forever, but I've still always felt connected with God. My trust hadn't really waned in God, I realized that my trust waned in myself. This realization really sunk in Monday night especially after having a very disorienting dream and I actually began to question where I stood with God! I've been through enough (particularly with things that have come up at my job) to KNOW that God is with me. He has never left me. My faith in HIM has gotten stronger. Faith in myself-eh not so much for some reason. Well throughout Matthew, as well as other books (Mark, Luke, and John) Jesus tells of the parable about how seeds can be thrown by the way-side and can either take up in stones, thorns, or good soil. In Matthew He described how seeds taken up in stones can be compared to those who hear the message, receive joy temporarily, however become distant from the message due to trials and tribulation, or life's strife. Seeds taken up with thorns could be compared to those who hear the message, however become so jaded and bitter due to the state of the world and how difficult it can be living as a just Christian (ex: how evil people seem to get all the riches and spoils of the earth...or even the old saying "Nice people finish last"), and ultimately that person also becomes distant from the word. Good soil can be compared to those who hear the message, RECEIVE the message, INTERNALIZE the message, and bear fruit-basically put message into observable action or declaration that others can take nourishment from (or see that action you did and decide to do the same so that others can see and so forth and on).
To further add to that we now have to go back to Esaias' prophecy- not everyone will understand the message. Thus, Jesus gives these messages in parables. A parable, from my understanding, is a story with hidden meaning. The meaning may not always be easy to comprehend but once you understand it, you become amazed on how complex and yet simple the message really is. Let me tell ya something-Jesus is REALLY good at telling parables!
So now connecting this back with my personal conflict- I became almost anxious and fearful as I read his parables. I was already feeling disconnected.....What if I was one of the people that didn't understand it. What if I wasn't meant to understand it. What if I heard the message, but yet didn't understand...or saw the message, but yet not perceived it? What if I wasn't the good soil, but surrounded by stones or thorns?
I'll summarize one parable for you which Jesus compares the kingdom of heaven to: A man sows good seeds in his field. An enemy comes and sows tares with the seeds/wheat (for tares, think weeds). Servants of the man ask if they should go ahead and remove tares. Man advises no, let the tares grow together with the wheat until harvest time; at that time remove the tares first and burn them, and then bring back the wheat. (taken from Matthew 13:24-41)
Now let me be honest-I had to read this several times....but I got it. Pulling out my quote interpretation skills (hey, God blessed me with them for a reason!) I was able to perceive that God planted seeds onto this earth....the good seeds being the children of the kingdom. And although the devil came along and put things like hate, deceit, jealousy and even evil people to "grow" with the good seeds, God is going to send HIS servants (angels) to collect HIS good seeds up.
Now I may have initially said in jest "hey, God blessed me with them (interpretation skills) for a reason," but I sincerely mean that. God gave ME the ability to perceive and with HIS help, in Jesus' name, I was able to interpret the parables tonight. You know now I feel so silly to even doubt ME. And when I say now, I mean literally NOW as I'm typing. To have faith in God, but not have faith in me-which is filled with the Holy Spirit, thus connected to Jesus, the Son of man, who is Lord, thus God- is unfathomable.
And....that's when the ah-ha moment hit me. The Bible is so full of symbolism and it hit me big in Matthew. Jesus uses the parable about seeds throughout the New Testament. Seeds are planted to grow and bring fruition. Jesus is THE SEED! (duh, I know right!) That statement is beautiful to me (not the duh part). God planted this earth with a Seed with His purpose being growth and fruition. Jesus served God's purpose through and through! God planted Jesus in Mary. Jesus was born in this earth- full of thorns and stones- and because He was good soil, He grew and produced good fruit (His acts of healing, forgiveness, humbleness and complete dedication to doing God's will) that others took and received nourishment from (think about His disciples as well as those who witnessed his acts of good service). Those who received His fruit in good soil brought forth more fruit so that others could receive nourishment and so forth and so on. Not only that, God ensured that even those who were not able to receive fruit directly from Jesus would still be able to receive Jesus' fruit. In Matthew 12:40 Jesus says "For as Jonas was three days and three nights in the whale's belly; so shall the Son of man be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth." To complete the process of planting the Seed, Jesus is buried after he is crucified. When he rose three days later people of the earth could receive the opportunity to sow that Seed (now the Holy Ghost) into their soil.
On that note I want to say I love the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit!
So I will most definitely continue to work on me and my faith in myself. God is with me, and through Jesus, made a promise that He will never leave me, meaning that I will be connected to HIM forever! In the meantime I have been repeating the following saying- feel free to chant along:
I am good soil. I am good soil. I AM GOOD SOIL!
